So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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