She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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