does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
