Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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