How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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