Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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