The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
