Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
