turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
