Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize