Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
