Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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