Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
