fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
