I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
there is puke in my bra ... again
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
