Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
