they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
