Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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