He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i believe in u and ur pee
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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