My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
