If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize