i don't plan on having that self control this summer
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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