i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
