Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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