so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize