for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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