im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
