it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
