I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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