arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
