Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
