dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
