I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
BRING THE BAGELS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
