I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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