Michael Bay diarrhea
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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