so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
