so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this just has baby written all over it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You've changed since you got that strap on
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
