I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
