No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
