btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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