Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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