why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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