can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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