I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
