I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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