If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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