so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just high enough for therapy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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