If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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