he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
