he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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