I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
