sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
