**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
