How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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