Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize