i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
