Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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